What is a new world for you?
It could be a new job, a new marriage, a new child, a new anything. A new world is a mindset of stepping into a new stage of life. When we are children, we dream about what we will do with our lives when we get older.
As we get older, we forget about these dreams, and we focus on goals that we assume are realistic. As our future begins to emerge into our present time, we will begin to see the signs of our childhood dreams surfacing.
When I say childhood dreams, I mean the first dreams, not the dreams manipulated based on life’s expectations. For example, a child may dream of being an astronaut (or spaceman in kid words). Still, as they get older and start going through school, they may shift their dreams to becoming an electrical engineer based on the environment they are around.
Let me be clear. There is nothing wrong with shifting a dream if it doesn’t become a burden on your life. That is the purpose of this section of the book. Developing a new world is the process of turning a dream into reality.
Step One: Let Your Dreams Foreshadow the Future
Dreams are the previews of your future. Studies have been conducted on how dreams are manifestations of fears or desires in your life.
“The word “dream” is commonly used to express an unattainable ideal or an intense and strong desire.”
Now I’m speaking of dreams only, not nightmares. Nightmares are fears that interrupt your dreams, that's why immediately wake up after a nightmare, and you sleep longer during a dream.
Have you ever dreamed about something, and then years later it happened?
You were probably thinking, "man, I dreamed about that, and it came true." For my believers, you will hopefully thank God for the dream and proceed to ask for more dreams.
The way dreams foreshadow your future is that they preview what "could happen" in your life. A dream is the subconscious blueprint to your success. Be sure to keep those blueprints once you awaken from your slumber because that can be the new idea that you've been searching for that will change your entire life.
Now, when you say, "wow, I achieved my dream," it won’t be a surprise because you just followed the subconscious blueprint given to you in your sleep.
Step Two: The Misery of the Middle Ground: Success or Death
One day I was looking up family crests. A family Crest is your family's shield that contains its code. I have always been fascinated with movies like Gladiator and Troy, and in those days, names meant a lot, so I was curious about my last name Payne and what it meant.
As I was researching the name, I saw that the family motto was, “I would rather die than be dishonored.” Upon reading this, I was immediately pumped up. This creed described my personality precisely. I considered myself a super athlete, and super athletes win at all costs. My belief system was similar to ancient soldiers when applied to life, death before dishonor, and all the warrior stuff. After a few moments of beating on my chest, I sat back and thought about it. What does “Death before Dishonor” really mean?
I started to think about my life successes, and I realized that you only have two options in life.
Succeed, or Die.
The problem with the world is the misery of the middle ground. The middle ground is that point in your life where you have not failed, but you aren't at your goal yet. This period can cause contentment and can even lead to a backslide in your life. The middle ground in life is that phase that you are meant to pass through to reach your goal. The problem with this phase is it can camouflage itself as a success. Examples of the middle ground can be getting a high paying job that does not correlate with your dream. The money is good, so you abandon the dream, continue getting the good paycheck, and eventually lose sight of everything you dreamed about.
This scenario happened to me when I became a fitness manager; I spent two years enjoying the role, the power, and the money. Taking on this new role led to my 1st book not being finished, I gained 22lbs, and my athleticism went downhill. Eventually, the attributes that led me to be a manager were fading. I wasn't teaching as many fitness classes, so I was becoming forgotten as a group exercise instructor. When I did teach, the extra weight made it hard for me to give the same caliber class I was initially known for. I had let the middle ground make me comfortable, which caused me to become lazy and eventually depressed. I lost sight of the dream, which was to run my own fitness center. I was working under a general manager, and although I had some power, I had no input when it came to the critical decisions made at the gym.
I had to break myself out of my misery, so I had myself transferred to a smaller, lower revenue-generating club because then I could re-focus on my dream—the dream of running my own fitness center. I was making less, but I had more time to write. I was able to work out more, and I could focus on my fitness education to give myself the ability to teach more.
The misery of the middle ground lies in the amount of time you spend there. You must always ask yourself these three questions, no matter what position you have in life.
The answers to these questions are your ticket out the middle ground, and if you have to step down first, it's ok, because life has levels, and next to each level, there's a staircase. No matter where you are in your life, you can always go back to the stairs; it is up to you whether you are going down or up.
Step Three: The Fear of Failure
The fear of failure has plagued everyone at some point in time.
You didn’t apply for the job because you think you won’t get it. You skip a tryout because you were afraid you wouldn’t make the team. You didn’t call that girl back because you thought she's out of your league.
Everyone has made these types of fearful decisions. They are usually harmless, but when they become habits, they lead to a life of regret.
Failure is a part of learning. As an athlete, failure is welcomed because it means the muscles have hit their limits and can grow stronger. Coming up short in life means you can now judge the distance to success. In basketball, we would warm up by taking jump shots before the game. We would call the first five shots “throwaways” because we shot them to gauge the rim's distance. After a few of these shots, we would eventually start making shots quickly, translating to more made shots in the game.
Failure in life has the same concept. Apply for a job you are under qualified for; if you don’t get it, ask for feedback, then apply it to your next application. Try out for the team; if you don’t make it, ask the coach what you need to work on to make it next season.
Call that girl; if she rejects you, slash her tires.
Just joking, if she rejects you, then now you have more space in your mind to see the girl who is eyeing you. Never fear failure. Failure is the precursor to learning.
Step Four: Look Forward to Failure
We are conditioned to look forward to success and take pleasure in it. We are also conditioned to be ashamed of failure and find pain in it.
Failure is a part of learning; therefore, we should look forward to failure. This phrase has been used by famous actors and athletes worldwide, and it serves as motivation to people who hear it, but the understanding of the phrase seems to be lost.
Looking forward to failure means to look forward to the opportunity to grow. For example, in the gym, you lift until you can’t lift anymore. Once you fail, the muscles you are working on say, “we are done excelling now. It's time for us to relax and grow so we can be stronger the next time”. When a muscle tears, it rebuilds stronger, hence why you get the "ripped look" when you develop a muscle.
In life, we must have this same approach to failure. We should look forward to finding out what we aren't good at to get better.
Try a new job. If you fail, it's ok. You know that's not the job for you.
Try a new hobby; if you suck at it, it's ok. At least you tried something new.
Opportunities are usually revealed when someone decided to embrace the risk of failure.
Imagine these scenarios:
You are down to your last dollar. You could buy a lotto ticket, but you don’t because you fear you won’t win.
You could talk to the girl at the department store that you liked, but you didn’t because you thought she would turn you down.
You didn’t take the game-winning shot because you thought you would miss it.
Any of these situations can easily be changed into tales of triumph, but the fear of failure must be overcome before any victory can happen. By looking forward to failure, the alternate outcome will be a victory.
In conclusion, I Look forward to failure.
There are so many great lessons to be learned when we are not scared to take the course.
Step Five: Predicting the Path
Now, this sounds like you are predicting the future.
You are predicting the path to your goal.
This process doesn't always mean you will pick the easiest path or the hardest path; you choose the path that will lead you to the goal you are trying to achieve.
For example, when I became a personal trainer, I chose to self-study for the test instead of going back to school. I then decided to study business instead of health to better understand the business when I reached a certain level of success as a personal trainer.
I was essentially predicting that I would be on the path to becoming a successful personal trainer from a business perspective. Instead of going to school for personal training, I decided to invest in schooling to build a skill set that will enhance my future career.
That's predicting a path.
An example of choosing a path is deciding to be a personal trainer when personal training was more of a hobby than a job. When I chose that path, I was presented with the easy route or the hard route. The easy route was getting a certification, working for a company, and making a paycheck. The hard route was getting multiple certifications, running my own business, and generating my own income. This experience was a lot to take in when only two months before this decision, I thought I would be living my dream of playing in the NBA. That dream wasn’t going to happen, and now I had to choose how to succeed in this new career. I had to choose a path by predicting the outcome first.
How do you predict your path?
Spend time visualizing the outcomes of each path that you want to take to reach your goal and determine which one will generate the most success for you. Use the charts below to choose and predict your path.
In conclusion, developing a new world for yourself takes courage and patience.
You must listen to your dreams; you have to get out of that middle ground (or your comfort zone.)
You must get rid of the fear of failure and train yourself to look forward to it.
Lastly, predict your path so that you are ready for success at the end of the journey.