Stage 1: Getting over the Past

I like to picture the past as a closet everyone swears they’ll organize “next weekend.”  We keep shoving boxes onto sagging shelves—failed relationships, bad plays, words we wish we could unsay—until the door refuses to close.  The first stage of your Motivated Mindset Blueprint is about swinging that door wide, sorting the mess, and deciding what serves the journey and what stays behind.

Limitless

The most challenging opponent you will ever face is staring at you in the mirror daily.

He knows all your strengths; He knows all your weaknesses.

He knows what you love, and he knows what you fear.

You can’t escape this opponent because he is in your dreams.

He is in your thoughts.

He is the one saying you’re too slow or not strong enough. He is the one that tells you you’re too tired to go on and that you should give up.

Most people think this opponent cannot be defeated; most people are wrong.

You can beat this person if you don’t believe in failure.

Failure is nothing but delayed success.

If the only person who can stop you is you, you make sure you always get the best of yourself.

You will look in the mirror daily at that same opponent and tell him that you will succeed no matter what.

If he says I’m tired, I say I can keep going.

If that person says you are too slow, move faster; if they say you’re not strong enough, push harder.

The only way to push your limits is if you have no limits. Do not just meet your goals; surpass them.

Then there will be no one who can stop you.

Not even yourself.

Read this statement out loud to prepare you for any situation:

I have no weaknesses, just untrained strengths. The areas of my life I do not excel are only opportunities to better myself.

 

Training to be Limitless:

We tend to limit ourselves from success. The number one reason we fail is that we fight a battle with ourselves daily. Thoughts of doubt and fear are almost unbeatable opponents when you fight for success in life, and these opponents tend to come from your psyche. This note was written after I decided to no longer limit myself from success.

Blueprint break: Write down three things that are limiting you from reaching your goal.

 

The Story Behind Limitless

In 2008, I left my junior college basketball team to pursue a semi-professional basketball career. I knew I wasn’t going to play a lot of minutes on the team, and at 22 years old in junior college and playing second string, D1 schools were out of the question. I went to an NBA Development League tryout in Albuquerque, New Mexico. At that try-out, I played well enough to gain the attention of Coach Ozzie Denson (the owner of the United Basketball League/head coach of the Texas Wranglers). He invited me to come to play for him in Texas. I knew my one limitation was my allegiance to my city.

Quick Question: Is your hometown hindering you from reaching your ultimate goal?

I loved Pasadena, California. I grew up there since the age of two, and the streetball scene kept me out of trouble my entire life. Although leaving would hurt and be away from friends and family, I knew I would have to cut ties and release myself from my hometown’s comfort limitations. Leaving college ball for a slight chance at making it pro was a significant risk. I was even going to have to pay my way to Dallas. I thought about just giving up on the idea and staying home, but I knew I would be running from a challenge.

Quick Question: What challenges are you running from in your life that relate to your ultimate goal?

During my first year in the United Basketball League, I got hurt. My teammate got fouled and slid into my knee, dislocating it. I was out for over a year and a half. I missed one and a half seasons in the league and multiple opportunities to try out for overseas basketball teams and even the NBA. Quitting basketball seemed like the only option. I was so depressed during this time I even contemplated suicide, but as I healed, I knew I had to be limitless. I planned to take on myself by challenging myself not to quit rather than accept the inner doubts that tempted me to accept failure.

“There is no such thing as failure, only delayed success.”

Blueprint break: Become limitless by writing down three ways to overcome the three things hindering you from reaching your ultimate goal.

 

Conquering My Demons

I wake up every day and go to war with these demons in my life.

They wait for me to open my eyes, some showing themselves immediately, others hiding amongst the world.

They seem to work their way into every aspect of my being.

They show up in my finances, career, family, and love life.

At times, I feel like a soldier on a battlefield surrounded by enemies, and every time I kill one, another emerges.

Some days, I feel like I can’t do this anymore, but I just can’t bring myself to quit.

Maybe it’s because I rarely sleep.

Perhaps it’s because I’m not done fighting.

Maybe it’s because I always remember that I’m greater than them.

I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I know that no matter how dim it looks, I’ll get to it eventually.

The demons that I face are the reason for me being who I am.

The more they try to defeat me, the stronger I get.

Even when I’m overwhelmed by them, and it seems like they are attacking me all at once, I know I’m strong enough to keep fighting.

It says in Ephesians 6:11, “Put on the full armor of God so that you can take a stand against the devil’s scheme.”

So, every day, I got my battle gear equipped and ready.

"The trials and tribulations of life do nothing but add lines to my victory speech."

Training to conquer your demons:

I wrote this note at a time when I was struggling to make ends meet. I worked overnight at a fitness center and as a cashier at a grocery store during the day. I had recurring financial debts that hindered me from getting a loan to move home, so I was stuck. The only option I had at that time was to suck it up and face my problems head-on. I was 85% recovered from my knee injury and was getting limited minutes in a league that wasn’t publicized on the basketball scene.

Blueprint break: Identify the three demons hindering you from reaching your ultimate goal.

This note illustrates how external forces can impact your success in life. The demons I spoke of were the forces that cause you to go into debt, second guess your career, and doubt your significant other. Everyone has demons, but not everyone has conquered them. The key to conquering your demons is to stand firm and keep fighting. Eventually, you will come out on top. The world can launch many weapons at you, but the good thing about worldly weapons is that they are not unlimited.

Blueprint break: Identify the three weapons you need to conquer the demons that stand in the way of your ultimate goal.

Once you have written down the methods to conquer your demons, you will be Battle Tested.

You cannot become limitless by simply choosing the weapons.

You must know how to use them.

 

 

Battle Tested

Your character is based on the tests in life that you’re able to get through.

Every time you are tested, you build character. These tests usually are struggles. How you approach these tests is what determines your character in life.

These struggles are meant to make or break you.

Despite these struggles, you learn something new about yourself every time.

The silver lining to these struggles is that they always come to an end; the speed at which you get through them is not based on you but your character and how much your character needs to be built up.

I welcome struggles in my life and look forward to challenges because I know that I’m only training my character to become stronger.

The more battle-tested you are in life ensures that you will be strong enough to reach victory.

Struggle builds character

How you deal with struggle determines character

Overcoming struggle solidifies character.

“We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”

II Corinthians 4:8

 

Training to be Battle Tested:

This note illustrates the importance of a strong character and how a person must develop a strong character. Building your character can be done in many ways, and sometimes, your character can be constructed solely by how you deal with specific situations. My basketball career forced me to become battle-tested. I was cut from my high school team (twice), walked off my college team to chase my professional basketball dream, and had to rehab myself back to health to remain competitive in my second season. Amid the chaos, I picked up boxing and mixed martial arts as a hobby. Somehow, physically competing in battle made it easier to battle my problems mentally. Sparring in a cage was more than just a workout; it symbolized you versus your issues with only one way out. These battles made me a stronger person, and after getting through these challenges, I realized I was a much stronger person in the end.

Blueprint break: Identify the three weapons that you have to help you win the battles that you are facing in your life.

You have done the work. Now, it’s time to start seeing results. After becoming battle-tested, prepare for a change in your life.

Change

Changing your life takes time. That’s a fact. Some changes take less time than others, but they take time.

Some changes are necessary, and some aren’t needed. This process is usually beneficial to a person’s life when they choose to change the aspects that will help better themselves, and that requires getting rid of the bad habits that can affect their progress.

The key to success isn’t to scold or punish yourself when you do something you want to stop doing or drift back into your old ways. The key is to use the new tools you’ve acquired to keep you on your path to change for the better. A primary example is someone who becomes born again. In the first couple of months, they are new people and no longer doing anything they used to do. Then, they slip up or drift back into old habits as time goes on. Often, they get down on themselves and feel like a failure, which presents the opportunity to relapse.

Change takes time and, more importantly, effort. The effort to change yourself transforms you into the person you want to be.

The effort is the key. 

"The journey to becoming great is more important than the decision to be great."

People change for the wrong reasons too much. A lot of times, they do it for other people and not for themselves. Whether it’s a career choice, a relocation, or a superficial appearance change, it’s best if it’s done because you want to, not because everyone else wants you to.

You have to do the things that make that person in the mirror happy because that’s the person you have to answer to every day.

Training to Change:

This note explained how the process of changing yourself could be a strenuous one. It’s a process that takes time and effort, and, in most cases, it is a failing effort if the person who is changing is not changing for the right reasons.

Blueprint break: Identify the three changes you need to make to help you reach your ultimate goal.

After three tough years of semi-pro basketball, I decided to make a career change. In rehabbing my knee, I trained a few of my teammates and some gym members. These workout sessions caught the attention of the fitness manager. He starts talking to me about becoming a personal trainer. He saw my teammates’ progress while training with me and knew I would be a great trainer.

Quick Question: Who is the person who inspired you to reach your ultimate goal?

At first, I wasn’t going to entertain the idea. I still hoped to play professional basketball, and becoming a personal trainer didn’t align with my life goals. I talked to my team trainer/assistant coach. He told me he had seen the players' success that worked out with me and told me I should investigate making a career out of fitness. I was still hardheaded and thought becoming a trainer would take away from my basketball career or cause it to end completely. It wasn’t until I watched a late-night infomercial with Billy Blanks performing Tae Bo, a martial arts-based fitness routine. He had been doing Tae Bo for decades and was an athlete, actor, and dancer. He was also 55 YEARS OLD at the time. I began researching older NBA players, and I realized that all the NBA legends I idolized growing up were over ten years younger than Billy Blanks and were nowhere near the shape he was.

Hell, they weren’t even relevant anymore. Billy Blanks was a fitness guru who created a fitness style that has influenced many of the training styles I use to this day. My decision was made.

I decided to give personal training a chance.

That meant I had to learn to be a professional trainer—no more googling workouts and using what works. I learned about the medical side of fitness, special populations, nutrition, and multiple training styles (corrective exercise, performance, sports specific, etc.)

This change of focus meant I needed to study personal training. I hadn’t studied anything in years, so this would be another challenge. There was a 2-inch-thick textbook that I had to read before taking the test to become a trainer. I couldn’t afford the $600 book and test. Luckily, one of my coworkers, a trainer, allowed me to borrow her book until I was ready to pass the test. It took me over a year, but I got it done. I was now a certified personal trainer. I moved back to Pasadena, and it was time to embark on a brand-new career.

Making this change was scary. I had to give up my dream to play pro basketball and replace it with a career I didn’t understand. I was genuinely walking by faith and not by sight.

Quick Question: What is the scariest change you must make to reach your ultimate goal?

 

The Lion’s Den

Sometimes, a lion must go into solitude to become a better leader for his pride. This analogy pretty much sums up how I need to deal with things. I've been putting a lot of energy into things outside my control. I'm starting to lose track of what's essential. So, I need to back up and disappear into the lion’s den for a while. I need to get my mind back to where it was.

Complete focus. No veering off course. A lot needs to be done in my life, and I cannot afford to stress myself anymore. Too many people are counting on me now, so failure is not an option. My responsibility is to inspire and lead by example. So, I will be back in the den, getting my next move ready and training my mind, body, and spirit. I will grow faster, stronger, and wiser every day, so I will be more excellent than I ever was when I return. I’ll be the leader I was born to be. And I’ll be ready. I've gone to the den before, but it’s been to cope with life, and it was more of me trying to take a break from the world. Now, I'm just getting ready for success. I know my demons will be waiting for me once I return. I'm not worried. They will be conquered, along with any other obstacles that remain for me. I'm preparing to take this life to a higher level.

But first, I need to go back into the lion’s den.

"I can do all things with Christ, which strengthened me."

Philippians 4:13

Lion’s Den Training Part One:

I wrote this note as I transitioned into my career as a personal trainer. I realized that I had people looking to me to help them achieve goals that would change their bodies and lives. Some of us are chosen to teach in life. Once we have been presented with this role, we must ensure we are ready for the task.

It says in James 3:1, "My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment."

This scripture scared me when I first read it because it made me realize that my role as a teacher was much more critical than I thought it was. I couldn't afford to teach anyone the wrong way, so the Lion's Den became an analogy for my mental state when seeking wisdom to be a better teacher.

Blueprint break: Create a Lion’s Den mentality by finding a space where your mind can focus solely on your ultimate goal. (Write it down)

 

The Lion’s Den II

The first Lion’s Den explained how a lion must go into solitude to become a better leader for his pride. The solitude time is not to escape but to Become Faster, Stronger, and Wiser every day. This process takes a lot of focus and strict mental and physical training. Being faster is essential for my field as an athlete, so I put that first.

Being faster isn't just speed training, though. Being faster also means acting on the things you need to do to accelerate progression.

My goals now require me to get things done immediately. Strength comes next. I must be mentally and physically stronger than I was before. Sacrifices had to be made to get closer to success, and although they bring a lot of heartaches, they prioritize the goals ahead.

The time in the lion’s den addresses all feelings of regret, pain, or doubt and eliminates them from my mind. This time is used to gain a clearer vision of the path that needs to be followed. That's mental strength training.

Physically, the hours spent in the gym made my body stronger for the next obstacle.

Developing wisdom comes last. I put this last because it is the most important reason I need to retreat to the Lion’s Den. Before progressing further, I must have acquired a certain amount of wisdom. I must know when to be faster and when to be stronger. I must know when one is needed and not the other. Wisdom is understanding, as well as just knowing. Before I can emerge from the den, I must know what I must do and why I'm doing it. I must understand everything is done for a reason.

The great part about wisdom is that when I understand what I must do, I will know why I started this path in the first place. The lessons I learn on this path will give me the attributes needed to complete the new goals. Developing wisdom is the final and most important aspect of going into the Lion’s Den. My time in the den is getting shorter. I hope the world is ready.

Lion’s Den Training Part Two:

This note shows a detailed version of the mindset I was in at the time. I called this mindset the Lion’s Den.

This state of mind helps me learn better and eventually progress from my situation.

Creating a mental space to develop yourself will help you reach levels in life that you never could before. This typical process for this mental state is meditation, but this state can be achieved through other outlets such as a long run or a quiet session in the gym with no music. My Lion’s Den always takes place in the weight room because my physical attributes have always been the gateway to discovering and improving my mental and spiritual gifts.

Quick Question: Where is your Lion’s Den?

The Lion’s Den is where all my problems are addressed, and it’s a massive part of getting over my past.

Blueprint break: Write down three problems you must address to get over your past. (Past relationships, money issues, failed goals.)

 

Final Thoughts

Getting over the past can be a challenging task. You must learn to forgive a lot and forget a lot. Training your mind to forget the mistakes you made in the past is hard, especially when you must learn from those mistakes. The way to approach getting over your past is to learn how to re-evaluate situations that are no longer relevant.

For example, if you lost a fistfight to someone and have been holding a grudge against that person, you don’t need to forget that the fight ever happened; you just need to re-evaluate how you would approach that situation if it happens again. I know all too well about this scenario. In my last year of community college, I fought with one of my teammates. Up until this point, I was a hothead and a loudmouth. Not to mention, I was only 135 lbs. at 5’10.

The fight didn’t go my way. I lost badly.

Every time I swung, I missed. To make matters worse, I couldn’t move away from the punches my opponent threw, either. I couldn’t muscle him because he was heavier and stronger than me. He was older and more of a seasoned fighter than me. After the fight, I felt like I would be going in a different direction. I had major anger issues, and I was a very vengeful person at the time. I planned on doing something the next day that would have landed me in jail for life. I had access to guns, and growing up in gang culture, I would resort to “hood rules.”

Luckily, my friends talked me out of it and taught me lessons in learning to lose. I had to swallow my pride, and  I had to reflect on myself and the situation. I had two options. Learn to avoid a fight or learn to fight better.

In either case, I would have to approach the situation using my past as a reference. I learned from this situation, which allowed me to make better decisions when a fight was about to break out. I chose the “get better” route, honed my boxing skills, and focused on my physical strength and endurance. I figured I would never lose a fight again by being unbeatable. This process is an extreme example of how to overcome the past, but a fistfight is the best example of how one experience can teach you many great life lessons. Two things can happen when you get in a fistfight: you can win or lose.

In life, you are hit with multiple punches. Some punches you can dodge. Some you can’t. Every punch that lands teaches you a lesson on how to avoid it next time.

You can overcome your past by learning to dodge the punches you have seen before and finishing the fight.

Life is like one long boxing match. Every year is round, and if the ref doesn’t count you out, you still have to keep fighting.

Blueprint break: Write down three mistakes you made in your past and explain how you will get over them.

Before we head into the next stage, create a declaration to get over your past and write it down.