Stage 2: Starting Fresh

Starting fresh is more than wiping yesterday’s chalkboard; it’s picking up a brand‑new marker and sketching plays you never dared draw. Whether you’re switching careers, swapping zip codes, or sporting a new haircut, freshness demands action that proves the change is real.

When I first moved to Texas to pursue basketball, that unfamiliar environment forced me to introduce myself as the man I wanted to become, not the athlete I used to be.

Blueprint break: Write down three changes to your life that you will apply today to start fresh.

The Top

The old sayings are “It’s lonely at the top” and “misery loves company.” There is no middle ground. You are either heading up or heading down. That’s why the world works so hard to keep you at the bottom.

It’s lonely at the top because we are born into a world where failure is the norm, and people accept struggling more than overcoming it. We are born into a world where fear is okay and taking chances is only for crazy people. We have stopped trying to be the best at what we do, and whoever wants to be the best is accused of disrespecting those who came before them.

We no longer set the bar high. We have put so many barriers in front of us that progress isn’t even in sight. Those who still believe in making it to the top are outcasts. Everybody is more worried about their swag than their success. Everyone wants to start a new fad rather than open a new door for people to travel through. Martin Luther King Jr. said he had seen the mountaintop and wanted to see it too. I don’t want to know what he has seen, but I want to see it myself.

I’m learning daily that the more you strive for success, the more alone you will be.

The road to the top is always the hardest road to take. But I must take that journey because it’s crowded at the bottom and I’m very claustrophobic.

 

Training to get to The Top:

I wrote this note when I realized that people do not see your vision as you do. To be a leader, you must be comfortable being ridiculed for visions you can see, but the rest of the world can’t.

My mentality was to ignore the criticism and keep pushing toward becoming a fitness guru that would change the world. I spoke of seeing the top for myself as an example of how we are told we can be successful but not shown how to be. Sometimes, our road to success is not the most straightforward route to the rest of the world, but if you decide that your vision is clear enough for you to see it, it doesn’t matter if the rest of the world can see it too.

In my first year as a personal trainer, I was hired at the fitness center where I had previously worked as a front desk representative. Now, I faced the challenge of making a living as a fitness professional. I sucked. I had no manager and didn’t know what I was doing. In my first professional session, I gave a 20-minute workout, about ten sets of chest exercises; the client wanted to work abs, and I’m sure he never returned to the gym.

For some odd reason, I was motivated. I never thought I was a bad trainer. I figured I wasn’t the best trainer yet. I decided to take more pride in my craft and studied harder. I looked up more exercises and stalked every other trainer in the gym to learn everything there was to know to be a good trainer. I knew I would be the best trainer in the world. I knew I would be on the level of Billy Blanks and Shaun T.; I didn’t know how to get there yet, but as I said in the note.

The road to the top is always the hardest road to take. But I must take that journey because it’s crowded at the bottom and I'm very claustrophobic.

 

Quick Question: Where is the top for you, or what is your indicator of success?

I had once stood on the thrilling stage of American Ninja Warrior, an experience that should have been the culmination of years of effort and determination. I had also tested my limits in multiple Spartan Races, events designed to push every ounce of strength, endurance, and mental grit. Yet, in each of these incredible opportunities, I fell short. Instead of rallying and pushing through the obstacles, I chose to tuck my tail between my legs and walk away, quietly abandoning the pursuit of my best effort. 

Year after year, the universe seemed to grant me another chance to prove myself. And year after year, I stepped up to the challenge only to falter, never living up to the expectations I had for myself. It wasn’t just the failures that haunted me; it was the persistent question that loomed over my thoughts for the past ten years: “Why do I keep getting these opportunities?

It was a question that felt like both a burden and a beacon, pulling me to confront the deeper truths about my drive, my resilience, and my willingness to face the obstacles not just on the course but in my own heart.

 

Pressure Relief

The truth about the keys to success is that they’re already in your pocket.

The visions that were once so foggy are crystal clear to me now.

All feelings of doubt have disappeared, and now I’m the person I want to be.

I don’t feel the pressure to succeed or excel in life. Now, I just excel and succeed naturally.

My past stresses are nothing but vague memories.

My mind is clear and locked on my goal; my eyes are opened to see the big picture.

I’m no longer carrying the world on my shoulders because I’m not of this world.

The mental chains around me are now broken, and these barriers that once looked like mountains are now molehills.

I used to lose sleep because I felt like time was running out on me.

Now I can’t sleep because I’m too excited to rest. Every rep in the gym is a step forward.

I don’t strive to be the best for glory, honor, or respect. I do it because I’m breathing.

 

Pressure Relief Training:

This note is precisely what the title says: "Pressure Relief." When we try to take on any task, we live under a mountain of self-scrutiny, and that pressure keeps people from succeeding. We are pressured to succeed in many areas (jobs, school, relationships, etc.), and we never get to focus on the task.

Sometimes, the process of meeting a goal is so tasking mentally, physically, and spiritually that we forget the goal's purpose in the first place.

Pressure Relief talks about my mental state as I released the chains of doubt and fear from my mind and started focusing on my goals without the thought of failure.

Becoming a personal trainer was a huge change but also a huge pressure relief for my life. When I was pursuing basketball, I was constantly stressed. I was still under pressure to play better, be in better shape, and be better than everyone around me. As a trainer, the mindset is not for me to be the best but to make someone else the best person they can be.

Blueprint break- Answer these questions:

What is pressuring you in life?

How are you going to relieve yourself of that pressure?

 

Your Word

It says in the Bible that God created the heavens and the earth with his word.

Jesus healed people and performed other miracles with his word.

A man's word is what makes him a man.

Keeping your word builds trust.

Words motivate, comfort, encourage, protect, and bring peace.

Wars begin and end with words.

The most incredible tool we have been given is our words. How we use our words determines what happens in our lives. We can change anything in life if we speak it and believe it. It’s said when liars lie enough, they start believing their lies. If we speak about a dream long enough, we can make it come true. Then why can't we do that with our dreams?

Right?

Mark 11:23 of the Bible says, "If anyone says to the mountain go throw yourself into the sea, and does not doubt in the heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him."

That's proof that anything you say, you can do. We just need to start using the right words to get the job done. In sports, the pre-game speech is the difference between the winning and losing teams. Coaches win not by strategy alone but by the words they use to motivate their team.

Great champions know how to motivate themselves by talking to themselves. Great warriors are the ones who go into battle, saying that no matter what, they are coming out alive. I believe you can do anything you say you can do.

I remember a basketball game where we were down by 27 pts with one-half left to play; this was the biggest deficit a team had been down before. In this situation, usually, the team that is losing loses the game. The difference with our team was in the words we spoke. We didn’t develop an elaborate strategy during halftime and weren’t given a motivational speech to fire us up. We all believed in five words that day.

We will win this game.

We overcame the deficit and won the championship.

You must believe in the words you say for them to have an impact; just simply saying them enough can make you believe them.

Words spark belief. The crazy thing about all religious texts is that they have the same message in different words. Mostly, all of history's memorable icons were great speakers.

Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X's dreams would have never come true or made a difference if they weren't spoken to the world. They say closed mouths don't get fed, so start saying your prayers aloud so God can feed your spirit.

Training Your Words:

This note speaks about the power of words and how they affect your life. This note was written to inform you of the power of your words and inspire you to go out and use them to progress in your life. The last statement is my recommendation to anyone looking to jump-start the change in their life.

 

Blueprint break: Write three words that describe you.

As a trainer, I must use my words to inspire my clients to strive to be better than their best. At the time of this note, I had gained more experience and wisdom in my role, which helped me approach my clients with deeper understanding and care. I vividly remember when an older woman entered the gym, ready to work out for the first time. She was a grandmother of three, recovering from recent hip surgery, and was apprehensive about the journey ahead. Although she enjoyed our initial session, her nervousness about starting her fitness training overwhelmed her, and she began to cry.

This was a reaction I had never encountered as a trainer, and it was clear that her emotions were rooted in something deeper. We spent nearly an hour talking, as I gently guided her to uncover the source of her tears. She admitted that she could only afford a few training sessions and doubted her ability to stay motivated on her own.

I took this opportunity to empower her with words, emphasizing the strength of her own voice. I explained that she wouldn't need anyone else to empower her if she could learn to motivate herself each day verbally. My goal was to show her that the power she sought was already within her.

Over the course of three months, we worked together, and she achieved incredible results. She lost 10 pounds, regained mobility in her hips, and—most importantly—discovered a newfound confidence that radiated through her life and positively impacted her family. When our sessions ended, I did not doubt that she would carry her confident mindset forward long after our time together.

This transformative experience led me to create a slogan I began using with all my clients. It reminded me that while I may guide and train, the true strength and inspiration come from within each individual.

Confidence is Contagious.

 

Blueprint break: Create a slogan using the three words that describe you.

 

New Year, Same Quest

At the beginning of each year, many people make resolutions. They want to achieve these goals and changes for the New Year. These goals are usually forgotten around summertime and put back into effect the following year or ultimately dismissed. I used to do the same thing but realized there's no reason to set new goals every year. Why not complete the goals you already set for yourself? Why not continue the quest you started already?

In 2010, I said that my life would be a quest to grow Faster, Stronger, and Wiser daily. I plan on continuing this quest until God tells me it's time to come home. There is no reason to set another goal when you haven't finished the first one. You can't change one aspect of your life if you have never experienced changing one before. In this marathon race we call life, there are no shortcuts, and you can't go on to the second lap without running through the first.

Let's not give up on what we started. Let’s not let the new year distract us from what we set out to do. The battles we struggled with last year don't cease just because the calendar date changed. I'm going to continue the journey that I started; I'm using those struggles of the year before to fuel me through this new year and bring me closer to my goal, and once that goal is reached, I make sure I cleared a path large enough for whoever is following me to get through easily.

It's not about changing the race; it's about changing the pace. Life may be a marathon, but you can choose whether you want to jog or sprint.

 

Training for the New Year:

I wrote this note with the mindset of emphasizing the importance of finishing what you start. In the fitness world, the new year represents a starting point for almost everyone’s fitness journey. For many, it also serves as a reset button, offering an opportunity to reimagine or reclaim control over their lives.

In this note, I wanted to encapsulate my thoughts about the New Year’s "holiday" and challenge the traditional approach to setting resolutions. Specifically, I believe resolutions should not be set for the new year if the goals from the previous year remain unfinished. One of the most common resolutions is to lose weight, a goal many set enthusiastically at the start of the year but abandon by the time summer comes around.

The reality is those who approach weight loss or muscle gain as more than just a one-year challenge are the ones who consistently see lasting results. The message I aimed to convey in this note is that not all goals can or should be confined to a time limit. True progress requires a commitment beyond the artificial boundaries of a calendar year.

Blueprint break: Write down 3 New Year’s Resolutions that you haven’t completed.

The New Year is money time in the fitness industry—a prime season when gyms are packed, clients are motivated, and trainers are busiest. For me, the New Year always marked more than just a fresh start; it was a continuation of a larger goal I had committed to in the previous year.

In 2012, I embarked on a significant journey by starting my own fitness business, Faster Stronger Wiser Training. With just two years of experience as a trainer and a small client base of about four dedicated individuals, I felt ready to step out on my own. At the time, I was living with my grandmother, which gave me some financial breathing room. My girlfriend, now my wife, was incredibly supportive of my vision. We both wanted to elevate our lives, and I believed that starting my own business was the first step toward building the better future we dreamed of.

However, launching a business was no easy feat. It was a long, demanding process that tested my patience and persistence. For the first two years, there were no significant results—no big breakthroughs or rapid growth. It wasn’t until 2014, two years after I officially began, that I started to see the fruits of my labor and the business began to take shape.

My New Year’s resolution in 2012 was to create a successful fitness business; every year after that, it became a continuation of this same resolution. It taught me that achieving a New Year’s resolution isn’t about quick results or fleeting motivation. It’s about making a decision, committing to it wholeheartedly, and following through with unwavering dedication until the goal is realized.

Answer this question: What resolution will you follow through on this year?

 

Final Thoughts

Starting fresh in any aspect of your life can be challenging. For three years, I realized there was more to the world than just shooting a basketball. I had to cope with the fact that my basketball days were ending, and I was stepping into a world where I could ultimately make my mark. I always wanted to be well-known for how many lives I changed for the better. This new way of thinking forced me to humble myself and seek wisdom in areas beyond myself. If I ever wanted to become a teacher, I had to learn to become a better student. These lessons need to be retained for anyone who wants to start fresh. You don’t have to forget your past or lock it away, but you can treat it as a book in your life that you have already read and move it to the top shelf where it is out of reach but not out of sight.

When you have successfully placed your past away, you can start a new book with new knowledge and wisdom based on lessons from your past.

That is the essence of starting fresh; your new chapter in life becomes a blank sheet of paper ready to be written. 

Blueprint break: Create a declaration for starting fresh.